Beer

Beer and Loafing in Zooropa

Welcome to DELL HELL
16 January 2007

I used to be a big fan of Dell's products.

The honeymoon waned a couple years ago, after stately Matt Manor was ransacked. My Dell laptop was stolen and Dell refused to transfer the two years remaining on the stolen laptop's maintenance warranty over to the laptop replaced by the insurance company.

Cheap bastards.

Unfortunately for me, that little episode didn't register as representative of the epic changes that have taken hold at Dell.

Now in need of replacing the laptop that crapped out on me last month (the one purchased by the insurance company), I went back to Dell.

Undaunted by the lousy chat service I received when inquiring about a discount available on Latitudes via the company's main Web site but not available through an EPP, I finally settled on another Inspiron.

After placing the order, I woke up the next morning and realized I forgot to use a $50 coupon.

Any normal, consumer-oriented company wouldn't have broken a sweat over the matter.

But Dell absolutely, positively refused to do the right thing.

I would have to cancel the order and re-enter it online, with the coupon code, in order to get the discount. BUT, the price might change, the clearly Indian girl on the phone advised me. While on the phone, I confirmed the price was the same - BUT - it no longer included a remote and USB TV tuner with the XP Media Center software.

Wanting to cancel the order, I was put on perpetual hold. I hung up.

To her credit, the girl called back and apologized for our getting "disconnected." I advised her we weren't disconnected. I hung up because I had other things to do with my life.

The argument about the coupon was a lost cause on her and she advised me that I would either have to be put on hold again while I await to speak with a cancellation specialist (my term) or call Customer Service later to be put on hold again prior to speaking with a cancellation specialist because the cancellation specialists do not have a direct line.

I tried again the next day.

Once again, all reason was lost when dealing with Dell support. They have policies to follow. Policies, I countered, that were no doubt instituted by some over-paid policy wonk who doesn't buy his or her own groceries, let alone a laptop online.

I asked to speak with Michael Dell, but the young man, whose accent I would think originated in Africa, informed me he did not have access to Mike's number.

My argument about the coupon once again lost, I was once again placed on perpetual hold when trying to cancel the order.

Figuring I was being ignored, and hearing not a sound of any sort, I figured I had either been disconnected or my cell phone's battery pooped out. So I once again hung up and eventually received a seoond case number for this one impossibly difficult transaction.

That was Friday. This morning, I received an e-mail confirming my order had been shipped.

The following e-mails were received and chats ensued. Keep in mind this was all preceded by three frustrating phone calls with Dell, so my attitude starts off in a bad place and rapidly deteriorates.

Text from Dell is in Satanic Red.

Thank you for contacting Dell. I understand that you wish to cancel the order. I will certainly assist you in in resolving the issue. I checked your order status and Dell record reflects that your order number 4-------- has shipped. Hence the order could not be cancelled once it ships out of Dell. However, you can return the order for credit by accepting the package when the carrier delivers it to you and reply to the email for a return request. Please note that you need to accept the package when the carrier delivers to you. You can track your order online by following these simple steps...

System: "Your chat session will begin shortly."
System: "Please note that you'll have the opportunity to provide us feedback on your chat experience at the end of this session, so don't close this window until you've taken the survey."
Session Started with Agent (Gautam Sood)
Agent (Gautam S---): "Thank you for contacting Dell Customer Care. My name is Gautam. How may I help you?"
Matt Anderson: "I attempted to cancel my order on Thursday and Friday. Reference case # 153------ and case #153------."
Matt Anderson: "But it was shipped this morning."
Matt Anderson: "I am EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED WITH DELL!"
Matt Anderson: "I DO NOT WANT A DELL CREDIT."
Agent (Gautam S---): "I'll right away look into the concern for you."
Agent (Gautam S---): "I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you."
Matt Anderson: "I EXPECT DELL TO PROVIDE RETURN SHIPPING."
Matt Anderson: "AND I EXPECT A FULL REFUND TO MY CREDIT CARD."
Agent (Gautam S---): "I'll right away look into the concern for you."
Agent (Gautam S---): "For verification purposes, may I have your email address and the name as it appears on your account?"
Matt Anderson: "I HAVE YET TO SPEAK TO A SINGLE PERSON AT DELL WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT ME AS A CUSTOMER."
Matt Anderson: "My e-mail: -"
Matt Anderson: "It might also be under -"
Agent (Gautam S---): "Thank you for the information."
Agent (Gautam S---): "For verification purposes, may I have the name as it appears on your account?"
Matt Anderson: "Matthew Anderson"
Agent (Gautam S---): "Thank you for the information. Please allow me 2-3 minutes while I check my records."
Matt Anderson: "This all started because DELL refuses to apply a $50 coupon. It's stupid how DELL runs its business today and I've had enough."
Agent (Gautam S---): "Thank you for staying online. I really appreciate your patience."
Agent (Gautam S---): "Matt, have you received the order?"
Matt Anderson: "No. It was sent this morning, much to my surprise. It has not arrived yet."
Agent (Gautam S---): "I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you."
Agent (Gautam S---): "Matt, I suggest that you may get in touch with us as soon as you receive the order and we will be more than happy to arrange for the return of the product."
Agent (Gautam S---): "Dell will take care of the shipment charges."
Matt Anderson: "I don't want a Dell credit. I want a full refund to my credit card so I can purchase a laptop from a company that cares about customer service."
Agent (Gautam S---): "We appreciate your business with us."
Agent (Gautam S---): "Matt, we value you as a customer."
Matt Anderson: "No. Dell does not. That's why they're losing a customer over a $50 coupon."
Agent (Gautam S---): "Your account will be credited within 30 business days of Dell receiving the product."
Matt Anderson: "Fine. Do I get a transcript of this chat?"
Agent (Gautam S---): "Please allow me 2-3 minutes while I check my records."
Agent (Gautam S---): "Thank you for staying online. I really appreciate your patience."
Agent (Gautam S---): "I would have been more than happy to assist you with this question, however you have reached the Dell customer care home segment. I see that you don't have a residential account with Dell. Please call LCA Trans Sales at 1-800---------, as they have the right tools and expertise to assist you better."
Agent (Gautam S---): "You can also chat with them. The link is : http://support.dell.com/support/topics/global.aspx/support/----/--/-------------------------------"
Agent (Gautam S---): "May I transfer you to them?"
Matt Anderson: "Good Lord! Does it really have to be this impossible to deal with Dell? Transfer me."
Agent (Gautam S---): "I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you."
Agent (Gautam S---): "How am I doing so far at resolving this issue to your satisfaction? At the end of our interaction an instant survey will be offered to you in this chat window, so please keep the window open to participate in the survey."
Agent (Gautam S---): "I have not received a response in over a minute. To ensure that I have addressed all your questions or concerns, please respond within the next two minutes to allow me to continue our chat."
Session Ended
Huh? Not received a response? I was never "transferred" to the "LCA Trans Sales" group and clicking on the link only screwed things up.

*********************************************** Requestor: Matthew Anderson Email Address: --------------.com Phone number: Phone number extension: Invoice/Order Number: c PO Number (order lookup): PO Number (user entered):
Problem: I ATTEMPTED TO CANCEL THIS ORDER TWICE, once on Thursday - the day after the order was placed - and once on Friday. ***********************************************

Dear Mr. Anderson: Thank you for contacting Dell. I understand that you wish to cancel the order. I will certainly assist you in in resolving the issue. I checked your order status and Dell record reflects that your order number 474------ has shipped. Hence the order could not be cancelled once it ships out of Dell. However, you can return the order for credit by accepting the package when the carrier delivers it to you and reply to the email for a return request. Please note that you need to accept the package when the carrier delivers to you. You can track your order online by following these simple steps: Go to www.ups.com Enter Tracking Number ------------------- Click Submit The carrier's phone number is (800) --------. Thank you for purchasing from Dell, Inc. Mr. Anderson, I hope this takes care of your concern. Please feel free to contact me for any additional support. You may receive a survey requesting your feedback on your Dell experience. Please take a moment of your time to complete this survey and provide us feedback on how we deliver to your customer needs. Thank you for choosing Dell. Respectfully, Kim_S------ Email Case Number 140----- Customer Care Specialist ABU Customer eCare Dell Inc. We Care for Customers: http://www.Dellcustomercare.com

Why wasn't this order canceled on FRIDAY under case # 153------? A DELL CREDIT IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE RESOLUTION AT THIS POINT! ALSO REFERENCE CASE # 153------. I TRIED TO CANCEL THIS TWICE BUT WAS REPEATEDLY AND CONTINUALLY PUT ON HOLD! I am apalled by the level of customer service I have received with this purchase. I've been a DELL customer - purchasing my own laptops from DELL - for the past 7 years. This is enough to make me go elsewhere. I'm disgusted. I know you don't care. DELL doesn't care. That's what makes companies go out of business. Matthew Anderson

Dear Mr. Anderson: Thank you for the reply. Please accept my sincere apologies for any disappointment in your dealings with Dell. I assure you that your situation is not indicative of the quality experience Dell is capable of providing. I apologize that your order was not cancelled prior to shipped. I will assist you in resolving the issue. Please note that the order could not be cancelled previously as the order has already cross the production stage. An order cannot be cancelled after it reach the post production stage. Please note that there will be no restocking fee and it will be a Dell paid pick up for the return. Please feel free to contact me for any additional support. Thank you for choosing Dell. Respectfully, Kim_S------ Email Case Number 140----- Customer Care Specialist ABU Customer eCare Dell Inc. We Care for Customers: http://www.Dellcustomercare.com

OK. This process has been amazing to me, and that is not a compliment. It all started because I could not apply coupon code R81SS--------- to the order. It is a $50 coupon that does not expire until January 26. But, if Dell would rather go through the expense of having the laptop returned rather than applying the coupon, that's fine. Apparently your accounting system isn't very sophisticated. It is my understanding HP is providing pretty good service these days and after the past week of dealing with Dell, I'm looking forward to giving them a try. Matt

Dear Mr. Anderson: Thank you for the reply. This is not the service standard to which we hold ourselves accountable at Dell. I cannot apologize enough for the lacking experience you have had with our service support. We realize that only our future interactions can restore your confidence in us completely, but I want to assure you that your experience is unusual. Dell's intention is to provide every customer with an experience that is both satisfactory and enjoyable. As a compensation for the inconvenience caused due to this order, I offer you a $50 coupon which you can use for your next purchase. Please reply to the email if you accept the offer so that I can submit the coupon request and have the coupon emailed to you as soon as possible. Please feel free to contact me for any additional support. Thank you for choosing Dell. Respectfully, Kim_S------ Email Case Number 140----- Customer Care Specialist ABU Customer eCare Dell Inc. We Care for Customers: http://www.Dellcustomercare.com

Thanks, but it's missing the point. It's $50 that should've been deducted from this order. After this nightmare, I have no intentions of making a "next order" with Dell. Matt

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