Mattopia Jones and the Pandemic Thaiphoon
Bangkok Bangkok Bangkok Pattaya Pattaya Phuket Koh Samui Bangkok Bangkok Bangkok Bangkok Bangkok Bangkok Bangkok
All photos taken with the iPhone 13 Pro Max (#ShotOniPhone)

Mattopia Jones and the Multiverse of Mattness

“There I was. Right in the thick of it. The fate of the Multiverse depended on me!"
Mattopia Jones

The following is an excerpt from the journal of Mattopia Jones. It is presented here with only minor edits for spelling and coherence.

Strange dream about needing to save the Multiverse — a recurring, multi-part dream that I had during the first couple nights in Bangkok. Very distinctive. A narrative. Something to be done surrounding 21 Dec. (also my mom’s birthday). Had seen Spider-Man: No Way Home at 20:30 on the Monday before I left, at the Continental main auditorium. Press only. No guests. About a dozen people in the house.

Hard Rock Hotel Pattaya: early disappointment as the room was changed from 623 to 832, but no doubt because of the property being in the SHA+ program and the 6th floor — I’m guessing — was a floor reserved for quarantined guests. Then, the Cafe was still closed (knew that was coming), but so was the outdoor area, which I thought was open. Nonetheless, they do reopen on weekends and there’s still a Christmas buffet on the 24th and 25th. Signed up for 18:00 on 24 Dec., 999 baht.

And I was pleased to find out the spa is open. Booked a 130-minute “Recover” session for 11:00 on 23 Dec.

The biggest surprise was the breakfast buffet was open again.

Went to a place called Mulligan’s for a post-check-in pint and grub. (A guy named Joe recommended Hooters, a 15-minute walk from the HRH, but I thought an Irish pub would be a perfect alternative.). Turns out they’re out of Guinness — until next year. Same for Heineken draught (but they do have bottles). Have Singha on tap, though. After being enticed by the menu, the server let me know they only have wings and French fries. So I ordered both; neither particularly good, both a little overdone and the wings a little light on meat. That, plus a couple draft pints of Singha, and I was feeling pooped (also napped on the extremely long taxi ride from Baan Noppawong (took more than two hours, much longer than I was expecting)). Arrived at the HRH a little after 16:00.

Anyway, thought I’d take a nap and maybe around 21:30 go out for some grub and pints. But I was more wiped out than I realized. Around 01:00, I peeled out the contacts. Woke up around 07:00. That’s more than 12 hours of serious sleep and rest. Felt so much better.

After the first few days, I had started to wonder what was wrong. Could it be something stupid, like getting old? No. The answer was simple and, in retrospect, obvious: it was too much action mixed with a lack of sleep, food and severe coffee deprivation. A recipe for a shutdown if ever there was one.

Once back on my feet, the buffet was an hour-long marathon, a feeding frenzy that included my first cups of coffee since arriving in Thailand. The HRH magic has happened once again, even with COVID. Feeling so much better now — and the Recover massage is only 30 minutes away as of this writing.

I’ve never had a multi-day dream that ended with a punchline, but that’s what happened with the Spider-Man/Multiverse dream. I was back in it last night (Thursday night, 23 Dec.). Turns out my role was to build a website.

“Web” site. Spider-Man. Can’t believe it all led to something like a joke.

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