7 Habits

7 Habits of Highly Effective Mattopians

MBC News Update:
Cleveland, In the Name of Love

4 September 2003

"Don't worry, Baby. It's gonna be all right.
Uncertainty can be a guiding light."
- Zooropa, U2


On the flight to Cleveland, wedged between a non-practicing physician from Montana and an over-sized Harley boy infatuated with his tiny cell phone and a cute chick across the aisle, it occurred to me, and not for the first time, that I'm starving. For more resonance... more fulfillment. The UN has a lot of appeal right now, with or without Angelina Jolie.

I went to Cleveland over Labor Day weekend on a swagger-finding mission for the PRM. But I'll get to that later.

Where was I? Where have I been?

Lordy. At the end of the last MBC News Update I said I was going to take a break and rethink my nefarious plans for world domination. I didn't think it'd be this long.

I guess I better start by stating that the rumors swirling around, at least the one's about my having been abducted by a horde of Amazon women and carted off to the Mattsopotamia Valley to start a Mattopian army were... slightly exaggerated. Unfortunately. (The lesson: Don't believe everything you read in the Drudge Report.)

The rumors are true, though, that I did something like an audition to get a spot on The Apprentice, a new NBC reality TV series in which contestants compete to become Donald Trump's apprentice. I thought it'd be a great way to expose the mainstream masses to bits of Mattopian wisdom. Unfortunately, NBC didn't buy into it, so MBC's gonna whoop 'em in the upcoming sweeps.

Let's see... Overall, besides going back and forth between Denver and Baltimore on a preposterously unpredictable basis, I've been on a different kind of journey these past several months. It's been a journey where quality of life and peace of mind (not piece of mind) were the front-and-center topics, not just because "the job" wreaked havoc on my life, but also because my parents needed a little more help from me than they have in the past.

As a result of what I've been through, I've become a better person, more humble, more mellow... more susceptible to external thought control... Nah, who am I fooling? Scratch those last three. With things settling down, the danger is that I'll forget about the many frustrations and obstacles of the past 8 months. I can't let that happen.

As a general rule, you can't know Joy until you've known her father, Despair. But I don't want to write about that stuff right now. I'll just say this: There were a couple of times this year when things got so out of control I thought I was going to fall off the planet. An odd sensation, that one. Not recommended. I'll save the rest for Oprah sometime.

Anyway, I hope y'all don't mind my skipping the despair (some of you got plenty of that from me already). Instead, I'm simply going to serve up one big-ass dose of joy, or something like it.

So here we go, some of the highlights from 2003 so far:

* Thanks to Marty and MovieHabit.com, I interviewed Valeria Golino, the Italian actress, when she was in town promoting the indie flick Respiro (she also starred in Immortal Beloved and Rain Man). It was a great moment in Mattopian history (read the interview here; check all the other reviews and interviews via Mattywood). At the end of the interview, Valeria took my little journalist's notebook and drew a heart in it. Needless to say, after the interview I was ready for a shot of Tequila and an ice cold shower. Little servings of sugar like that have gone a long way in keeping hope springing and springing and springing...

* Speaking of sugar, I've been toying with the idea of starting my own Internet dating service. It'd be geared toward young urban professionals such as myself (YUMMIES - Young Upwardly-Mobile Mattopians). It'd sorta take the best parts of Monster.com and Match.com to come up with a premier, no-nonsense way for us cool people to get togetha. I was originally going to call this endeavor "Montch.com" but, after some careful consideration, I decided "Mattster.biz" had a better ring to it.

As one of my mentors, David Letterman, would say, "There is no off position for the genius switch."

I can see people now, huddled over PCs at Big Ass Muggs! in Toronto, surfing around Mattster.biz while my co-founder in that empire, Carmen de Melo, pours out perfectly brewed java and serves up fresh donut holes (which are called assholes at BAM! For those who missed it last year, follow this link for the full BAM! story.)

* My new 2003 Limited Edition PT Cruiser is the sexiest, baddest car on the road (clearly a case of a car taking after its owner). In Mattopia, we call it the Mattmobile. In Boulder, it's greeted as the Buffmobile. And, in the parking lot of McDonald's, it's joyfully received as the HappyMobile.

* The Mattopian campaign of Shock and Awe continues. The rèsumè casualties have been enormous, but the war with reality will continue until fulfillment prevails.

* Bono has once again been shortlisted for the Nobel Peace Prize. The man's my hero for many, many reasons and I'd follow him to the end of the world. Oh... wait... I already did that! Damn... I'll have to do it again!

* I wrote a review of U2's Best of 1990-2000 for Interference. Reading that one gives even me goosebumps! There are more U2 links in the Music Centrum of Mattopia.

* There's been some remodeling done in Mattopia. In particular, the travel diaries finally have their own "home," one that I find amusing. For those of you on Internet Explorer 5.0 or above, click on this link (Travel Diaries) and add it (or any of the other "home" pages at Mattopia.com) to your favorites folder and you'll see one of Mattopia's icons: The Mattopian sun, decked out in John Lennon sunglasses and now sporting a soul patch... Many, many painstaking minutes were put into that design, ladies and gentlemen.

* I'm working on a whole new travel diary. It's called 7 Habits of Highly Effective Mattopians. It's a small diary at the moment, but that's excusable under the circumstances. And, yes, there's still more to add to last year's diary.

* While on the subject of travel, I want to apologize to the newly-formed Pruiksma clan in New Jersey for missing the wedding, to THE Boss for missing a really big concert in New Jersey, to the Kleins for never showing up this summer in New Jersey (damn, it's been a rough year in Jersey!). Also, to Mr. Okuno in Matthattan, The Fabulous One in D.C., and Mr. Ramachandran in Baton Rouge, what can I say? When good plans go bad, I tell ya...

* Oh yeah. I'm also testing the political waters and considering a run for President of the United States. I figure after spending four years on the phone with some pretty thick-headed accountants and techie geeks, I can handle four years on the phone with the likes of Blair, Putin, Sharon, Raffarin, Schwarzenegger, etc. Besides, I'd take a cue from this summer's Apprentice experience and create MBC's own reality TV series, Who Wants to Marry the President? Talk about a beautiful marriage of art and politics! Be sure to vote for my ass in 2004... Please.

Phew... The past couple years for me have been like a country song being played backwards. First I got my soul back, now I'm getting my swagger back and I'm working on getting my life back and my dignity back and... Well, you get the idea.

So. Cleveland. What kind of year is it when Cleveland is a major highlight? Ahhh... It was my first trip without a laptop weighing me down in 15 months and it was a trip that filled a very narrow window of opportunity to see an exhibit dedicated to my band at the House that Rock Built, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The trip also came on the heels of the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream" speech. (As the song goes, "One more in the name of love...")

I was there eight years ago when the place opened up. Back then, it was hard to even find a Hall of Fame T-shirt. Now they've got everything labeled with the Rock Hall and it's hitting its stride and finding its place in the music world.

By the way, I'm now a member of the Rock Hall, so if any of you are going to make the pilgrimage to Cleveland and want free access to the Hall of Fame, let me know. I've got some free passes coming my way shortly. First come, first served.

Cleveland turned out to be a fantastic little trip (click here for a few photos). If I wasn't feeding my face or drinking Guinness, chances are I could be found roaming the Rock Hall and absorbing all the inspiration. By the end, it was a barrage of voices: Joplin, Strummer, Jagger, Rotten, Talking Heads, Springsteen, The Hype, The Beatles, The Doors, Timberlake, Spears, Aguilera... I shoulda been a rock star.

As for the U2: In the Name of Love exhibit, well, I spent quite a bit of time fightin' off the goosebumps. To be honest, I didn't put up much of a fight. It was reinvigorating. I even caught a nifty inside joke involving the words Achtung Baby! dating back to 1985 in one of the band's internal tour newsletters. Great stuff.

Cleveland's got soul. The people there are good. But, the city has its issues. There are no Internet cafes in Cleveland. Even more troubling, all the restaurants, save one, are closed on Labor Day. Thankfully, that one restaurant was a great Cajun spot, Fat Fish Blue, complete with Guinness and a very cool waitress.

I also give high marks to Flannery's Pub, where the service is spectacular and the Guinness is always flowing. It's also a home away from home for Joe Rohan, an up-and-coming folk singer who has opened for James Taylor by night and designs Web sites by day. Support your local music scene!

So here we are, somewhat up to date. Rest assured liberation is on the horizon and plans are always in the works. Of course, some plans are better than others, but ya live and ya learn.

I'll polish this off with something I picked up from my dyslexic accounting instructor at CU (no joke): "The race goes not to the swift but to those who persevere." One of the precious few bits of wisdom I got out of the Business School.

It's time to restart the race, folks. "I'm ready... I'm ready for the crush."

For those of you who've gone through a name change at Peoplesoft, just remember: The only e-mail address you need is matt@mattopia.com. Keep in touch. Don't be strangers. Persevere.

And remember: The good guys will win in the end. They always do.

With that, I invite you to come back to Mattopia, mon (and woomon).

Y'all need to drop me a note when you get a chance and let me know what's up in your neck of the woods.

Peace out, keep the faith, walk on,
Matt

P.S. - I read in the news Tuesday morning about how downtown Cleveland was almost shaken, rattled and rolled right into Lake Erie. All kinds of tremors and quakes were going on. The scientists tracked the source down to one kid with a massive swagger.

Just thought I'd share.

TC

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