The Mattopian Blahg

10 April 2020
Updated 10 May 2020

#ConspiracyTheory  •  #ShotOniPhone  •  #Jedi  •  #Stormtroopers  •  #FinalOrder  •  #Bono  •  #Sing4Life  •  #VirtualCollaboration

I was starting to think all of this was one of those abandoned harebrained Final Order plots to eliminate rebel scum and then, while walking along the High Line Canal, I spotted this shocking sight. In a flash, all of those conspiracy theories were proven true.

My first thought was those two were not practicing proper physical distancing. But, as I drew closer, I noticed that was no gentleman in a seersucker suit and safari hat. It was a stormtrooper in full body armor. Um. So, he’s got that going for him, if nothing else.

Enough with the dark side. I'm over it. Let's balance this out with the light, with thanks to Bono,, Jennifer Hudson and Yoshiki.

If you prefer Italian, here's Zucchero's version.

And here's Bono's solo version, the one that started it all.

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