U2

Zoospeak

While following the band around on the Elevation tour, I noticed there was a "U2 language" developing. I guess you could call it "Zoospeak."

Foremost, we were all "Bonoholics," a term that pretty well defines itself. There's no such thing as Bonoholics Anonymous, by the way. We're too proud of our addiction to be quiet about it.

But we also suffered from PTSD. This isn't Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, but rather Pre-Ticketing Stress Disorder (also known as Purchasing Tickets Stress Disorder). This is the self-induced stress that comes from pent up anxiety when a new leg of U2 tickets go on sale and one must enter the fray in hopes of getting those GA tickets.

I've also coined a term with the release of Vertigo: "U2rettes Syndrome." Unlike Tourettes Syndrome, this is when a person is overcome by euphoria every time a U2 song is played on the radio or at a restaurant or at a sporting event or... etc. Common side effects are dreaming out loud and an unabashed feeling of being empowered to change the world and make it a better place.

What else is out there? What else should go into Zoospeak: The U2 Dictionary?